I have something I need to say.
Edward: "Say it... Say it out loud."
--Twilight was a pretty terrible (and therefore, hilarious) movie.
I definitely wasn't expecting much coming into this movie, because, come on, did you see the trailer? I would burst out laughing every time it came on TV. But, I have to say, the film was actually worse than I thought it would be. Here's why:
1) The acting. It was so bad. Bella had the same look on her face the entire movie....whether she was being very.....slowly....kissed by Edward, or getting her leg snapped in two by James, the tracker-vampire.
And Edward, though very good-looking, just wasn't doing it for me. Ok, so he's supposed to be practically dead, but that didn't mean that he couldn't show more personality once in awhile. But he at least branched out a bit more than Bella....he had TWO different facial expressions: a) I am going to burst into tears at any moment and b) I think I am going to vomit everywhere and never stop.
2) The dialogue. Ok, since a lot of the books are looking inside Bella and we hear every stupid, needy, freak-of-nature thought of hers, I wasn't expecting much from the outward dialogue from the characters. But, I was hoping that they'd take the liberty to add a bit more in the movie, just for entertainment's sake. Well, I was definitely entertained by the few lines they decided to add...my favorite being, "You better hold on tight, you spidermonkey!" (I audibly yelled "What?!!" when that one was said.) I definitely had a few lines to add of my own, especially after "Since when do vampires play baseball?" I think it would have been very appropriate to add, "And since when do vampires wear uniforms to play baseball?" (tight pants included?!).
3) The soundtrack. The cheesy, ridiculous, soundtrack I think is what really did this movie in. I mean, I can handle a bit of bad acting and dialogue (seriously, it is a movie about teenage vampires), but the choice of music really amped up the camp in this one. For example, when the Cullens first enter the school cafeteria, I swear a Stevie Nicks song was playing in the background. I was just waiting for Stevie to begin to warble "Just like the white wing dove sings the song sounds like they're singin'....OOOH BABY, OOOH, BABY OOO!" And did they really think that we wouldn't know who the bad guy in the movie was? They felt like they had to remind us who the enemies were by bringing up the electric guitar in the background!
Ok, I feel better. Granted, I highly enjoyed myself while watching this movie. I barely had time to breathe, I was laughing so hard. It was definitely an unforgettable experience.
In all seriousness, I sincerely apologize to anyone who just absolutely loved this movie...and there's only one reason why you would--you were just so obsessed and in love with the books that all you cared about that the hormonal love story was played out on screen and it didn't matter how good it was. It was everything you hoped for and more. I think I agree with one critic who basically said that they worried so much about sticking to the book, that they didn't try to make it a better movie.
Glad that's off my chest.
Thank you for letting me say what I needed to say.
Edward: "Say it... Say it out loud."
--Twilight was a pretty terrible (and therefore, hilarious) movie.
I definitely wasn't expecting much coming into this movie, because, come on, did you see the trailer? I would burst out laughing every time it came on TV. But, I have to say, the film was actually worse than I thought it would be. Here's why:
1) The acting. It was so bad. Bella had the same look on her face the entire movie....whether she was being very.....slowly....kissed by Edward, or getting her leg snapped in two by James, the tracker-vampire.
And Edward, though very good-looking, just wasn't doing it for me. Ok, so he's supposed to be practically dead, but that didn't mean that he couldn't show more personality once in awhile. But he at least branched out a bit more than Bella....he had TWO different facial expressions: a) I am going to burst into tears at any moment and b) I think I am going to vomit everywhere and never stop.
2) The dialogue. Ok, since a lot of the books are looking inside Bella and we hear every stupid, needy, freak-of-nature thought of hers, I wasn't expecting much from the outward dialogue from the characters. But, I was hoping that they'd take the liberty to add a bit more in the movie, just for entertainment's sake. Well, I was definitely entertained by the few lines they decided to add...my favorite being, "You better hold on tight, you spidermonkey!" (I audibly yelled "What?!!" when that one was said.) I definitely had a few lines to add of my own, especially after "Since when do vampires play baseball?" I think it would have been very appropriate to add, "And since when do vampires wear uniforms to play baseball?" (tight pants included?!).
3) The soundtrack. The cheesy, ridiculous, soundtrack I think is what really did this movie in. I mean, I can handle a bit of bad acting and dialogue (seriously, it is a movie about teenage vampires), but the choice of music really amped up the camp in this one. For example, when the Cullens first enter the school cafeteria, I swear a Stevie Nicks song was playing in the background. I was just waiting for Stevie to begin to warble "Just like the white wing dove sings the song sounds like they're singin'....OOOH BABY, OOOH, BABY OOO!" And did they really think that we wouldn't know who the bad guy in the movie was? They felt like they had to remind us who the enemies were by bringing up the electric guitar in the background!
Ok, I feel better. Granted, I highly enjoyed myself while watching this movie. I barely had time to breathe, I was laughing so hard. It was definitely an unforgettable experience.
In all seriousness, I sincerely apologize to anyone who just absolutely loved this movie...and there's only one reason why you would--you were just so obsessed and in love with the books that all you cared about that the hormonal love story was played out on screen and it didn't matter how good it was. It was everything you hoped for and more. I think I agree with one critic who basically said that they worried so much about sticking to the book, that they didn't try to make it a better movie.
Glad that's off my chest.
Thank you for letting me say what I needed to say.
2 comments:
Agree....I can't believe I wasted precious sleep hours on it, so I could go to the midnight premier...BOO!
Maren, have you received any hate mail yet? I have to agree with you on what you wrote, but I still loved every Edward minute of the movie, so I am definitely one of those obsessed Twilight fans...nevertheless, you had Marcus and I cracking up at Stevie Nicks, "Ooh Baby"!
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