Minnie Mocked Me

Today, as I was riding the freight elevator up and down all morning (you'll find out why later), I thought about what an interesting list of skills I've acquired in the past six months at my new job. So, here is my new resume that I'm sure will get me a job in Hollywood or something.

Skills:
Model: I modeled my Halloween costume during the weather segment.
Professional Dancer: I also danced in my Halloween costume on live television (something I rather regret).
Food Taster: I tasted yams during a cooking segment on my birthday. They even let me blow out a candle and everything. I think I'm ready for commercials.
Delivery Gal: I have delivered burgers, pastries, sandwiches, and even photos between the station and Casey's (our feature reporter) live shot location.
Professional Bowler: Yes, I have bowled on live TV. And I was terrible. (Oh yeah, and I ate more food on TV, too.)
Tour Guide: I give tours to high school students who don't think I'm funny.
Dog Racer: I was in charge of holding a Yorkie before a race with another dog. Luckily, she was released before she could pee on me.
Bodyguard: Today, I had the privilege of escorting Mickey and Minne Mouse from the first floor to a secret location in the basement (hence the elevator). That was interesting, and maybe a little creepy. Minne kept mocking me by mimicking every move I made. And Mickey kept standing dangerously too close to me. I don't really think I like things in costumes.

So, what do you think? Am I hired?